One of the realities of military life (for active duty families, at least) is that moving around is inevitable.
For a Reserve family like mine, moving around is less common. In fact, my wife and I have moved more frequently for my ministry career than for her military career. We’ve never moved for her military service - until now.
We knew that one of the perks of RV living is bringing your house with you.
You get to travel and see the world and still sleep in the comfort of your own bed, use your own pillow, cook in your own kitchen, etc.
As a person who really likes her home environment to be comfy and cozy, this was definitely a “pro” for me!
And, it has been such a great thing to have these past two weeks.
As some of you know, my wife is a Reservist in the U.S. Air Force. This means that her part time job is working as a logistician and planner for the military. It has included a deployment to Afghanistan at the beginning of our marriage, and many other shorter deployments and TDY experiences. She has traveled the world and gotten to work on lots of important missions.
Most recently, she has been deployed to a base in New Jersey to coordinate the settlement and care of thousands of Afghan people evacuated from their home country last month. Her time here has consisted of 12+ hour shifts, commutes on and off base, endless meetings, and a steady stream of new Afghan “guests” arriving each week. In two weeks she has had one day off.
I feel so fortunate to be able to come with her on this deployment (I obviously haven’t joined her on previous ones - ya know, combat zones and whatnot).
And, I got to bring our whole house and family with us!
She has been able to sleep in her own bed, snuggle her fur-kids, eat healthy and nutritious meals, and have the comfort of home during a deployment. As you can imagine, this is a pretty rare experience.
Because of housing and hotel shortages, and the necessity for so many military personnel and contractors to help do this important work, many of her coworkers are staying in the barracks, with multiple roommates, and eating sandwiches from the gas station on base. Or they are having to commute up to an hour from their hotels. Our campground is about 25 minutes away.
Luckily, we have everything we need for her to eat well and get good rest while she is on orders. And, yes, I have brought some tasty food for her coworkers to enjoy as well!
At first, when we were first living in the camper, well fell into treating our adventure like a vacation. We would get a lot of takeout and get junk food for snacks.
But, as time has gone on, we’ve come to learn that this is really our everyday life, and we cannot continue to pretend we are on vacation.
So, we’ve been cooking more, stocking up on veggies and whole foods, and doing more food prep.
Our food prep means making some of the staples of our meals (marinating and grilling tofu, sautéing veggies, large pots of brown rice, etc) and prepping things so it’s easier to make good food decisions.
And, this process has been accelerated and amplified while we are here for her orders.
Every morning, I pack her three meals and snacks, fill her gallon jug of water (there is no water in her building), and make a vat of coffee. This means cooking multiple meals per day to plan for the week, and trying to make things that are delicious and more nutritious than the other options she would have on base.
I love to cook! And, we made sure to equip our kitchen in the camper with everything we might need to make our favorite foods. It takes a lot of organization (more on that in another post) to cram everything into such a small space.
By cooking familiar foods and making some of our favorite foods that are comforting and tasty, it is one way to nourish and nurture ourselves during what is also a stressful and worrisome time.
It has felt strange to not be preaching and organizing efforts to help our hurting world as I would have been doing if I were still a parish minister. But, in this moment, my love and energy is being put into the world through care, presence, and nourishing my family. And, truly, taking this time to reconnect to myself, my family, and my sense of call to love this beautiful and broken world.
And every day I am filled with gratitude that I can support my spouse so that she can go out and do the important work of helping these people.
I deeply believe that we are capable of creating a sense of home in the most unlikely places. For our family, that home is a 22-foot camper that is currently parked in a campground in New Jersey. For some of these Afghan families that home is a series of bunks and privacy curtains and the compassionate care of people like my wife.
And it’s all temporary - as most of our experiences are. They will shift, and change, and grow. And we will shift, and change, and grow.
And our ability to find solace, comfort, and a sense of home will develop as we continue to journey in our lives.
So, I wonder - what does home mean to you?
What are the creature comforts you need to feel a sense of solace and home?
How can you feel a sense of belonging and care where you are in this moment?
How will you care for yourself and your family in these challenging and tumultuous times?
My hope for you, for all of us, is that we might find a way to feel at home in the world; that we might help to make it so for the others in our world; and that we might have the willingness to create home in places that seem unlikely or odd.
We might just find the healing and nourishment we need to refuel and replenish ourselves, and to do the hard work of loving the world.
We might just surprise ourselves with our ability to bring healing and compassion to ourselves and, in turn, to our greater community and the world.
This week’s Invitation to Deepening: What is one way you can nurture or nourish yourself this week? What is one way you can nurture or nourish others this week?
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