Have you ever had that dream where you leave the stress of your job, quit, and take off on an adventure? Well, I just did that. Like, I actually did that.
After a long period of discernment, lots of tears and talking, and a rewarding but also very stressful time serving as a parish minister (including through the year of the COVID-19 pandemic), I decided to leave my job.
I am an ordained Unitarian Universalist minister, trained counselor, military spouse, queer cis woman, storyteller, writer, and lover of travel. I have sought perfection most of my life and often struggled when I didn’t measure up to whatever I thought was the “right” way to be, or do things, or be present in a situation. Throughout my life I have consistently appeared to have my life in order - whether I have or not.
Seeking perfection has been a silent goal of mine since I was little.
And I’m done with that goal.
I’m done trying to meet some ideal of what I’m supposed to be.
I’m done trying to fit into whatever mold society says I should fit.
I’m done doing what I “should,” and want to seek ways to live most fully into my favorite self.
I am imperfect - we all are.
And I am imperfectly and wholeheartedly stumbling toward a deeper understanding of who I am as a broken and beautiful human being in a world that wants me to be perfect, and quiet, and small.
I am fortunate and grateful that this journey has been, and continues to be, alongside my amazingly supportive and courageous spouse, Susan.
Up to this point, this journey includes selling our 2,000 square foot rural home (complete with 2 acres of land and chickens) and all of the furniture that goes with it.
It includes purchasing a pickup truck and a MicroMinnie Winnebago travel trailer.
It includes cramming everything we own (which is a fraction of what it was - more on that in another post), our two 65-pound dogs, and ourselves into less than 10% of the living space we had.
It includes lots of mud, medical emergencies, and literal blood sweat and tears - and we are only two months in.
In this space, I will tell the stories of our adventures, the things I learn on the road, and the ways I am continuing to live into this dream of being imperfect, and real, and human, and beautiful.
This week’s Invitation to Deepening: Where are you feeling stuck in your life? What are the ideas or roles that are holding you back? What might it look like for you to let those go?
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